In that place I call "the corner".
It's that uncomfortable state of being many of us find ourselves at periodically, some more then others. If we're honest.
We beat our selves up there.
Crazy happens there and lots of feeling sorry for myself and comparison of others who I perceive to have reached those gargantuan places full of perfection I can never hope to attain to.
And then there's the what ifs section of the corner, the place where every idiosyncrasy of my spontaneous nature is dissected and abhorred.
What if I'd been more rigid in my education style? Maybe my kid would read better?
What if I'd been more watchful? Maybe I'd still be mom to 4 living children instead of 3 and 1 angel.
Lots of my friends have been there too lately I am finding.
They stress and fret and stew and live really hard and sometimes very yucky day to day existences.
They wonder, as do I, about who they are. Really are.
They wonder if they are worthy.
They wonder if they are loved.
They wonder if they are enough.
And they wonder if they can make it though one more day of pain.
I recently read a homeschool mama's book called "Teaching from Rest".
Now let me tell you, I don't get much reading time. I enjoy reading but my current pace eliminates time for meaningful reading. But this book was short and I devoured it. Every single line. It was what I needed at that moment.
It gave me the much needed reminder that rest is ok...and really actually needed...and that the crazy we subject ourselves to with the lists of activities and responsibilities (not to mention the beating ourself up time) we immerse ourselves in, while tho they may be good are not always for our best.
It did not grant me a license to be lazy mind you, but to re evaluate my priorities with the Best Yes philosophy that has turned my life upside down.
This also motivated me to re investigate the truths of the Bible and how they apply to my day to day.
Here's my most recent list (since I'm all about lists...)
*We are LOVED.
Ephesians 2:4 - 7 says "But God being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loves us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ...
*We are VALUED.
Matthew 10:31 says Fear not, therefore; You are of more value then many sparrows.
*We are PRECIOUS.
Isaiah 43:4 says Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.
*We can make it through the tough.
Isaiah 41:10 reassures us of this.."Fear not, for I am with you; Be no dismayed for I am thy God. I will strengthen you, I will help you...
* We are ENOUGH.
2 Peter 1:3 says "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness.."
and then there's this one...Ephesians 2:10 - For YOU are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works..."
How's that for value?
If you like me and many others I love, struggle with who you are, let me shout to you from my corner that YOU ARE ENOUGH!
So much has happened recently that has reinforced these truths.
I'm finding that so many of my beliefs center around my wrong thought processes and me not valuing who God created me to be.
Not that I need to take pride in wrong ways, but God talks much of our value in his word so there has to be truth to that somewhere right?!
I met someone this week, who in my mind is somewhat of a celebrity. She bounces around in memories of my childhood. She has also reached pinnacles of success I feel are never going to be my destiny. (how's that for the yucky comparison monster?) My first reaction at meeting her again had me shaking in my boots. "She'll never remember me...country mouse I be..." But as fate would have it, God reminded me of my value. I considered running the other direction or acting like I was busy when she entered the room. But there she came, straight into "my corner"..and she remembered ME! and had the same recollection of memories. I'd have missed a great conversation if I'd stayed stuck in my corner, worrying and devaluing God's handiwork.
Now, I'm not saying that her remembering me gives me value, but for me it is a reminder of who I am...I AM ENOUGH!
Casting Crowns has a song I love called Voice of Truth. Take a minute to listen. Let the truth wash over you.
And if you are facing a "climbing out of boat onto the crashing waves" time in your space called life, take hope and remember...YOU ARE ENOUGH!
He is enough!