I had one of those weeks. Not only on top of my already crazy hectic schedule of homeschooling and my reflexology clients, did I make many trips back and forth to the hospital with my sweet mom in love (a new term I have fallen very much in like with - I am Alta Miller's daughter in love) but various ones of my children decided it was the perfect week to get their lungs full of that nasty cough which is ugliest whenever one tries to lay down to sleep something one really needs when dealing with stress. After 1 full night and most of another spent in the ER and at the hospital trying to wrap my brain around all the details of Alta's issues I was so looking forward to/planning on catching up on rest which is usually a realistic goal since my baby is now 3. That "plan" did not work out so well and my whole first night "home" was spent trying to keep my 4 year old's cough from completely gagging her which in essence took about 3/4 of the night so no catching up there. At one point in the pitch black as our child continued to sound as if she was coughing up her lung, I rested my bone weary head on my hands and informed my hubby that I don't think God is hearing my prayers. I began to focus on and question everything that wasn't in perfect order in my life and man let me tell you I can come up with quite the grumpy list...."Why did God make me wait so long to have these beautiful babies?-- practically EVERYONE knows that the case load is to heavy with the combination of young ones and elderly parents" "Why would God take some one like the 15 year old that was killed in our area recently and leave the my ailing MIL whose quality of life has dramatically been altered and who is longing to go on to her Elmer?" "and why of all things couldn't God keep my children healthy in a time when I really need them to be. I mean we try and take care of our health, we don't eat gobs of junk food AND we take vitamins." You get my drift....
Here is where Isaiah 40 comes in. Verse 6 in the NLT says People are like grass that dies away. Their beauty fades as quickly as the beauty of the flowers in the field. Then come verses 7 & 8 which say
The grass withers and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the Lord. And so it is with people. The grass withers and the flowers fade but the word of our God stands forever.
So in other words, I am like a fading flower. My self centered focus is but a fleeting breath in the broader spectrum of God's big picture. And yet HE is forever! His word stands when all around us is falling apart.
I read on and came to my very favorite verses in the whole chapter, verse 11 - He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young. (Yup that's me!)
The chapter goes on the very next verse to emphasize the incomparable qualities of God. Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured the heavens with his fingers?....all the nations of the world are nothing in comparison to him. They are but a drop in the bucket, dust on the scales....in his eyes they are less then nothing--mere emptiness and froth. To whom then, can we compare God?...He is the one who spreads out the heavens like a curtain and makes his tent from them....
Then comes the end verses we all know well. Verse 29 - He gives power to those who are tired and worn out (that would be me this week) He offers strength to the weak. Even the youths (I am pushing 40 here!) will become exhausted and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like Eagles (Have you seen an eagle lately? Their wingspan is huge!) They will run and not grow weary (even when sleep deprivation takes over and becomes all consuming...JUST.give.ME.my.bed.leave.me.alone.AND.no.one.gets.HURT) They will walk and not faint...
Not only has this chapter given me a fresh perspective right when I needed it most it has brought just another reminder of how blessed I really am in being the daughter of the creator of the universe who is so much bigger and able then I can comprehend! As for the hearing my prayers part, verse 27 says this - How can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? ...the Lord is the everlasting God, (yup HE is still God even when at the end of my already crazy hectic week my 4 year old shows up with pneumonia) the Creator of the earth....He never grows faint or weary (even when one of his specks of dust is constantly complaining about how awful her beautiful pretty much perfect life is!)
So as I set off on a fresh new week my prayer is that my pouty list stays short (or non existent) and that I fully lean on my incomparable, amazing, all powerful Father who just happens to be creator of the universe!
On another more chipper note, we attempted to take family pictures this week. The results were not all that fabulous but hey we preserved the memories of having the kidos in their pretty Christmas duds.
My man & I
our 4 precious gifts
(I still have to pinch myself some days when it dawns on me that my long years of infertility really are over!)
not frame worthy perhaps but you "get the picture" ;)
Blogging was a new venture for me this year and I am enjoying it much tho I am sporadic at it. Thanks to you my readers for reading my stuff as I attempt to share my heart. I love writing. It is therapy and I always have said I would write if not a soul read it. However if I can share something that is encouraging or uplifting to you on your journey that, in the words of my favorite Duck Dynasty, makes me Happy, Happy, Happy! Merry Christmas to you and yours!