Monday, October 27, 2014

A New Page

Since some of you don't have face book, I wanted to share our latest update here. We have been busy trying to establish new family normals and happy times and accept what our new family structure looks like.  Soon after Abby died, a beautiful young photographer, Kayla Gingerich,  ( wrote me the sweetest email offering to document our new family structure in photos.  She is acquainted with grief and all that goes with it as she lost her dad in a tragic hunting accident several years back.  A local photographer did the same thing for her family, offering to shoot a some photos of their new normal.  She shared with me how special that was for her and how she would like give us that gift if we wanted and when we were ready.  At first I was too sad and didn't know if I wanted to face the reality of having photos with no Abby in them, but as time has gone on, I find a restlessness in my spirit prompting me to feel ok and almost relieved at being "up to date" and being able to showcase that on our mantle.  Saturday was the day and as the day went on it almost took my breath away at the sheer beauty.  The trees are vibrant, almost on fire and the sky was a beautiful clear blue. We all wore red in honor of Abby, an idea concocted by the children.  We also all wore our donate life pins, honoring the fact that we had hoped to gift families with hope (even tho it didn't happen).  We went to a neighboring town and got some amazing shots of the 5 of us. I am so excited to see them all. It wasn't as difficult as I had imagined and flowed with an almost normal feel.  The children cooperated nicely and actually smiled.

When we got home, it did hit me briefly and I sat and scrolled through photos and shed quite a few tears, especially when I came to the photo our dear Evonda had taken during the magical beach trip this spring.  I had been so excited at how well it turned out and was eagerly anticipating using it on our annual Christmas photo which we had not gotten done last year as Alexia had been in the hospital over the holidays.

  I am seeing more and more "life" coming through in day to day things.  We are laughing more and doing things we enjoy again even if they seem small and insignificant. We continue to grieve and we do wonder what God will do next with us and what he will write on the next page of our story.  As each day dawns, regardless of the darkness that sometimes haunts us,  I remain confident that HE who started this painful work in us will bring it to completion and it will be beautiful.

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