4 years ago tonite I went in to labor on my due date with you which was a first for me. Beings you were baby number 4 I figured I could just head in and pop you out. How wrong I was. You were my longest birthing process, almost 12 hours. You were different from the very start and soon after you were born and I sat holding you I had this strange emotion come over me, just a fleeting thought but very real and scary. It was simply this, that I may not get to hold you for very many years. I wrote it off to hormones and didn't think much more about it till that fateful night in the hospital on July 14 of this year (2 months before your birthday) when daddy told me he had the same premonition also.
You came into our lives at a spunky 7 lbs 11 oz (also Hunter's birth weight) and took over the rule of the roost almost instantly.
You brought so much joy and like we have all talked about how God gave you to us for a brief time because He had a job for you to do. Part of that job was bringing joy into our home that was scarred from daddy and my's separation that had just ended right before I got pregnant with you.
You were strong and opinionated and a spitfire. You loved living and did everything you did with fervor and such joy.
Then all of a sudden your life was ended and you were gone. We know Heaven is more beautiful with you there but we sure miss you here.
We are on a special trip this week in honor of your birthday. We are enjoying so many wonderful things and moments together as a family of 5 now.
As we drove today, daddy and I cried as we listened to one of our new favorite songs that talks about how we feel and how homesick we are to come up to live with you and Jesus.
We are doing our best to go on living and sharing Jesus and his love with those we meet.
Just like our grieving the last 2 months is a place we have never been, we are literally in a place we have never been before - Kansas City. There are so many wonderful things here and I can only imagine your face and hear your oooing and ahhhing.
We are just taking our time and taking lots of pictures and making lots of memories as we never know how many more we will have the chance to make...
Kali, your never wear a dress sister found Elsa and Anna dresses while we were shopping and insisted we get them for her and Alexia. They have worn them with pride all day and we talked of you. At one of the places we stopped there was a huge Frozen display and we stopped and gazed and pointed and talked of which one you would have begged for.
We stopped in Kalona at the Amish bakery and got some fresh donuts to eat with our yummy Farmer's Creamery chocolate milk.
When we actually got on the road Daddy convinced me to take the wheel so he could see what it was like to walk around. I was terrified but managed to stay on the road.
It has been raining all week, and we were getting so tired of cloudy skies. Today God gave us a special gift...Sunshine.
This is the life for me...
Kali taking her first selfie
I captured a rainbow in the background. We so enjoyed this fountain at Crowne Center.
We ate at a delish little cafe called Crayola Cafe where everything featured was to do with crayons.
I was expecting artificially flavored and colored things and was pleasantly surprised to find hormone free beef, ground turkey and yummy sides like hummus and pita chips plus whole wheat buns that were specially yummy!
We sat a table for 6 and colored pictures of course.
We took a walk over to Union Station via a long walk way called the Link.
Daddy called this the waffle ceiling
Alexia saw this view and said "mama the city is sooo beautiful, we must take a picture"
The inside of Union Station is breathtaking.
We were bummed that there were events taking place in both Crown Center and Union Station blocking off some of the things we wanted to see.
We got back to the campground just in time to get some more play in.
Hunter was very taken with the roller coasters in the distance.
Kali's Sunday school class got her that Ripstic you all wanted and she is quite agile on it and does lots of tricks even in a skirt.
While everything is beautiful and we are enjoying our time together just relaxing, I catch myself dissolving into tears at just the slightest thought of you.
I never imagined that we wouldn't have you here with us to celebrate your birthday.
Nana and Aunt Rhoda planned a small party tonite in your honor. They are going to release balloons and reminisce. Nana Rhoda and Great Aunt Rachel are planning something similar for when we get to their house on Monday night.
Your life taught me so much. And now I am learning more about God and life and the reality of Heaven since your death. Hardly a day passes that we don't talk about coming there.
I love you Abby Marie and I know you will have the best birthday ever up there with Jesus. I can just imagine how it would be to have the angels singing Happy Birthday to you...
Until we get there have fun dancing and twirling and know that we will come as soon as Jesus is ready for us.
I love you Abby Marie!